The Week of Bad Luck or Bad Karma or SOMETHING THE UNIVERSE IS PISSING ME OFF

Here’s my week:

Monday: Go to work. Halfway through my shift, have a miscarriage. Walk home to have it in private, and then call my doctor, only to have them put me off til the next day and express doubt that I’m miscarrying at all. Spend all day crying off and on, and then have to take Edwin out for trick or treating in spite of severe cramps and back pain. I did have a good time doing that, but I was all out of spoons and thensome at the end of the day.

Tuesday: Go to doctor, have them express doubts I’m miscarrying even though I KNOW I AM, get jabbed multiple times by incompetent blood drawer leaving a bruise, have a miserable day, projectile vomit all over my bathroom and have to clean it up.

Wednesday: Vow to stay inside. Don’t stay inside, go to gas station and get sexually assaulted by a creepy older man who “fell” into my back, pressed his dick on my ass, held my shoulders, and said, “Sorry darling, I lose my balance around pretty girls.” Elbow jackass in the solar plexus and fucking leave because life sucks sucks sucks and I’m not in the mood. Rage clean my house despite physical pain and push too hard. Have Edwin attack me because he wanted candy and not dinner–literally, he hit me, ripped one of my piercings, and tried to bite me and screamed bloody murder, had a total breakdown. I had to take away his candy completely, just forbade him from eating anymore candy period. Had to put him in time out and restrain him so he wouldn’t keep hitting me.

Thursday: Spend the day I’m supposed to be resting running around doing errands and grooming myself after not all week because of depression, have my husband say he only does nice things for me so I’ll give him blowjobs (not sure if he was joking), and then get my consent violated on my writing blog by someone I thought was part of a gift exchange I’m participating in on there, but turns out they’re a foot fetishist who won’t answer questions and they’re trying to have sexual congress with my feet via the Internet, I thought they were thinking of buying me foot products for Christmas but it turns out they were just trying to get off because they want my feet? Without asking my permission or discussing what they wanted from me, just trying to take it before I noticed. Also Keith decided to sneer at me about my political beliefs and say I’m stupid and gullible for voting Democrat and putting me down and gossiping with the landlady about how Trump is just misunderstood and there are false reports and Hillary owns the media and I’m a fucking idiot for buying into her “lies” and all that shit. Plus he mentioned a ton of casual homophobia he was enacting at work among his fellow former servicemen. And snapped at me a lot and kept arguing with me for no reason other than to give me a hard time, which he knows I hate.

Predicting Friday: Go to work, have a miserable day, experience further dips into deep depression, then get stuck in a car for two and a half hours on the way up to the in-laws’, where I will face casual racism and sexism and get ignored by my husband and deal with passive aggression from my in-laws and have to watch my kid while he totally misbehaves like he ALWAYS DOES UP THERE because they let him get away with EVERYTHING and defy my authority and undermine me. This will be on Saturday and Sunday too. I will have to drive back on Sunday, despite the fact that I have trouble driving and don’t really like doing it, because Keith will want to fall asleep in the car on the way back because he has work Sunday night and we don’t leave until the very last minute and he only gets two hours of sleep for the entire night and then spends NEXT week in deep sleep debt and then takes out his frustration and irritability on me.

What the fuck happened? What negative energy am I taking on? Where is it coming from? Did I incur bad karma? Did I commit some heinous act? Did I walk under a ladder or break a mirror and not notice? I get walked by by a black cat all the fucking time, Wobbles lives here, but he hasn’t caused this before. Have I done something wrong? I don’t know what to do, I’m crumbling and having a breakdown right now. I can’t stop sobbing.

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