Basically I just met a person (a very cool person) through a mutual friend (also a very cool person) and we all clicked and had a great 1.5 hour convo about all sorts of amazing and terrible stuff and I’m on a high from that, but then BOOM ANXIETY goes in my head, “Hey, Riah, guess what, you are lame! Lameity lame lame lame, you are such a fraud, you only SEEMED cool and they won’t be fooled for long, you’re too young and too naive and too inexperienced and too LAME and one day everyone’s gonna realize how much you SUCK and that’s gonna be that, sorry, you’re all alone from then on, countdown time! TICK TICK TICK MOTHERFUCKER” and it just sucks.
So I’ve rolled on some aromatherapy oil that the cool person gave me and now I’m sniffing it and trying to calm down and just RELAX GODDAMNIT.
Also I am feeling so good, by the by. The generic crap birth control they switched me to at the pharmacy was causing all sorts of issues from deep depressive downswings to mood swings to actively making me unable to keep food down (for which I lost 3 pounds in a week–the nurse at my doctor’s office congratulated me and then acted offended when I was like, “Um, this is not a good thing.”). But now I’m off, and I’ve never been happier to have my period. Seriously, it’s glorious. I feel so good. Imagine how good I’ll feel when I get on a different birth control and don’t have all these side effects. I just need to get over my phone anxiety and CALL THE PHARMACY AND THEN CALL MY DOCTOR TOMORROW AFTER WORK. Two phone calls in two days? Ugh.
Anyway yeah. I’m doing well.