I have a blog post coming that is taking me some nerve to write up, because it’s about something very hard for me to talk about. It’s something I’ve done, something I DID, for years. I came out of it a few years ago, but it’s still very hard to talk about it, because it makes me look very bad. It was a very bad thing. So I’m working up to it.
In the meantime, you should know that Edwin climbed up on my lap, turned around, and then farted directly on my face. Apparently this is the height of humor, because he cracked up and could barely get out a proper, “excuse me!” I blame this entirely on his father, who does this to the cats whenever he gets the chance, who also fart on everyone in return (at least, Wobbles does. Bishi is a surprisingly gas-free animal). I would be shunned forever if I did it to anyone, but apparently if it’s ON me it’s all cool beans. Fuck the double standard, I want to release my stinky gasses on the masses.
Also, I have to work five days next week, Monday-Wednesday, and Friday-Saturday, 7 hours a day except for Saturday which is an 8 hour day, the first I’ll have ever done. I can barely stand up at the end of a 7 hour shift, so I’m not sure how that’s going to go, but I guess I’ll survive it like I survive everything else. In pain, and with lots of hidden tears and grimaces and breathing exercises, because I can’t take muscle relaxers at work. But you bet I’ll be taking anti anxiety pills, because when I think about how much pain I’ll be in by the end of it I panic something fierce.
I haven’t talked about my pain a lot, but let me tell you, it’s fucking hard to live with. I’ll write a separate post tonight when I have time to ponder about it and think what I want to say and how I want to say it, but I’ll post tonight for sure. That’s coming. The hard post about the thing I used to do is coming probably after tomorrow. We’ll see.