The Flaming Bagel came through

(If you don’t know, don’t ask)

I got paaaaaiiiiiid. I got paid, it’s my first paycheck, and it’s beautiful.

See, I’ve been a stay-at-homer for five and a half years now. I left my previous job in May of 2011 and the only money I’ve made since has been royalty money from my books, which was never much and only pays quarterly, so I used that up real fast and never had expectation of saving or paying bills or anything significant. I’ve always had to rely on my husband’s pay to get things I want/need, and he is generous and gets me what I want but I always had to ask permission and he would bitch about it? We decided he would control the money because I wasn’t doing so well with it at the time, and after that it was just…kind of depressing for me. Having no control, having my husband occasionally nag me to start making my own money while he begrudgingly paid for my things. You know, fun stuff.

But now, I have a steady job for the first time in over five years. I have my own money, my own bank account. I paid my own bills for the first time today, since my last job. I can do whatever I want with this money, after I take care of business. I’m budgeting, like I didn’t before (I was never really given lessons on money, I kind of had to just guess, and I grew up in poverty and rarely got to spend money so…you know, I went crazy when I finally had access because I was so excited and shopping felt so good).

I’m eyeing stuff on Torrid right now, but I’m not buying yet. I’m being responsible. I’m taking it easy. I WILL be buying hair dye when we go grocery shopping, though, absolutely, because I’m sick of being blonde. I’m going a light ginger color. I love having red hair, okay? Usually I dye it fire engine red but I’m going for more of a strawberryish copper blonde. It’s the perfect color, actually, close to the color I had (according to pictures) as a kid from about ages 2-5 (before that it was light blonde–after that it was flat mousy greyish brown).

After that? I have to put a little towards groceries (my husband has insisted on certain contributions from me, in his usual controlling irritably-anxious way). I also have to put a little toward savings. $50 here, $50 there. But this morning, he said I could give him less because he doesn’t want me to be broke, so I think he realized he was being a little overenthusiastic about how much I’d make and how fast that money goes away.

Anyway…money money money. I have more than I usually have, and more will be coming in just two weeks! I don’t have to wait three months like I do for royalties! But I will also be getting royalties in another two months! Yay! Money! I like money. It actually DOES buy happiness, because it buys food and shelter and amenities and entertainment and clothes and other essentials for human living. You heard it here.


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